Harnessing the Power of “Do You Have 8 Minutes?”: Leadership Lessons from Simon Sinek and Maria Shriver

/ Simon Sinek
Harnessing the Power of “Do You Have 8 Minutes?”: Leadership Lessons from Simon Sinek and Maria Shriver

In a world where communication is instant yet often ineffective

Simon Sinek, best known for his groundbreaking work in leadership and motivation, offers a surprisingly simple but profound piece of advice: when asking for help, try saying, “Do you have 8 minutes?” This approach, inspired by a conversation with journalist and philanthropist Maria Shriver, encapsulates both practical communication skills and deep relational wisdom. In a recent discussion with EZRA Coaching CEO Nick Goldberg, Sinek revealed how this question fosters powerful human connections, encourages vulnerability, and redefines how we approach support and collaboration.

This article breaks down the broader meaning behind this one-liner, both in personal and professional contexts. We’ll explore how it applies to leadership, teamwork, personal growth, and emotional intelligence, drawing on principles from Sinek’s own philosophy as well as psychology and organizational behavior. Whether you’re a leader seeking to connect with your team more meaningfully or someone who struggles with asking for help, you’ll discover insights that may completely shift how you build relationships in today’s fast-paced world.

Table of Contents

1. The Story Behind “Do You Have 8 Minutes?”

In a candid moment shared in a video conversation with Nick Goldberg of EZRA Coaching, Simon Sinek reflects on a conversation with his close friend Maria Shriver. She revealed that when she needs someone to talk to, she asks, “Do you have 8 minutes?” rather than a vague or emotionally-laden, “Can I talk to you?”

What made this phrasing stand out was its balance of assertiveness and respect. It respects the other person’s time, provides a clear boundary, and makes the ask feel manageable rather than burdensome. Sinek highlighted how this small linguistic tweak can create a more open, willing response and uplift the quality of the connection being sought.

This isn’t just about wording. It’s a microcosm of how our approach to vulnerability and communication can drastically shape outcomes. What sounds like a casual phrase actually holds rich psychological and relational significance.

2. The Psychology of Asking for Help

Asking for help is one of the most human things we can do, yet for many people, it’s incredibly difficult. We fear rejection, looking weak, or inconveniencing others. Psychologically, this is tied to our sense of autonomy and self-esteem.

Social psychology research indicates that people chronically underestimate how willing others are to assist them. In fact, studies show that people are significantly more willing to help than we anticipate, especially when the request is clear and specific.

Sinek’s takeaway from Shriver’s “8-minute” method is profound in this context. Specificity reduces ambiguity and anxiety. Emotional intelligence plays a key role here–by clearly articulating what we need and framing it considerately, we remove a major barrier in both requesting and receiving help.

3. Why Time-Bound Requests Work

The magic of “Do you have 8 minutes?” lies in its specificity and finite nature. Time-bound requests are psychologically easier to commit to. The specificity avoids the mental drain of uncertainty or open-ended obligations.

Time management experts often advise setting time constraints for meetings, calls, or brainstorming sessions. It creates structure and accountability. In the same vein, saying “8 minutes” signals to the listener:

  • I respect your time.
  • This will be quick and focused.
  • I value you enough to be mindful.

This request becomes not just a plea for help, but a silent offer of mutual respect.

4. The Power of Vulnerability in Leadership

Traditionally, vulnerability in leadership was shunned. Leaders were supposed to be stoic, invulnerable, always in command. But modern leadership philosophy, including Sinek’s widely followed “Start With Why” and “Leaders Eat Last,” embraces vulnerability as a strength.

Leaders who are willing to admit they don’t have all the answers, who invite help, and who express emotional needs, build more trust. Vulnerability humanizes the leader. It opens the door for others to empathize, relate, and reciprocate.

Sinek’s anecdote underscores that good leadership isn’t about having zero needs—it’s about modeling how to handle needs responsibly and transparently.

5. Emotional Intelligence in Effective Communication

The phrase “Do you have 8 minutes?” reveals a high degree of emotional intelligence (EQ). It reflects self-awareness (knowing one needs support), social awareness (understanding the other person’s circumstances), and skilled relationship management.

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about how we feel—it’s about how we interpret, manage, and communicate those feelings in relation to others. In the workplace, EQ has been linked with higher productivity, better teamwork, and lower turnover rates.

When we use language that’s emotionally considerate and practically effective, like the “8 minutes” strategy, we operationalize EQ in a tangible way.

6. Building Trust Through Small Acts

Big displays of competence or charisma may impress, but trust is most often built in small, repeated acts. Asking someone for a concise moment of their time, and then using that time well, builds trust.

When someone answers “yes” to your 8-minute ask and you honor that timeframe, you reinforce that you’re respectful and trustworthy. This makes it more likely they’ll agree next time and may even feel closer to you because of the experience.

Relationships—whether personal or professional—are built over time through small, meaningful interactions. This one simple question can be the pebble that creates a ripple effect of trust and connection.

7. How This Applies in the Workplace

Imagine being in an office where people feel constantly overwhelmed, unsure when to ask for assistance, and hesitant about interrupting others. Now picture that same office where people say, “Hey, do you have 8 minutes?” and a conversation happens that clears up a week’s worth of confusion.

Asynchronous tools like email and messaging sometimes overwhelm rather than enhance. In that environment, concise, deliberate verbal prompts stand out. A quick, time-bound conversation can offer real-time feedback, bridge misunderstandings, or even prevent mistakes.

Managers can lead by example here. By initiating “8-minute” check-ins, they can open the floor to better communication and psychological safety, making it easier for everyone to ask for what they need.

8. Strengthening Personal Relationships with Clarity

In our personal lives, vague pleas like “Can we talk?” can stir anxiety or defensiveness. Your partner or friend might wonder, “What’s wrong?” or “Am I in trouble?”

Framing the conversation differently—“Do you have 8 minutes?”—signals a manageable, thoughtful interaction. It allows the listener to either prepare for the chat or reschedule with understanding, rather than bracing for conflict.

This can be incredibly helpful in romantic relationships, parent-child dynamics, or friendships. Respecting time and emotional bandwidth shows maturity and empathy, essential ingredients for strong personal bonds.

9. Learning to Listen: The Other Side of the 8-Minute Coin

Asking is only half the equation. The person on the receiving end also plays a role in making this technique work.

If someone comes to you with “Do you have 8 minutes?”—what does it mean to listen well?

  • Give your full attention.
  • Avoid distractions, especially phones or screens.
  • Don’t interrupt with solutions unless asked.
  • Show that their concerns matter.

Listening is an act of affirmation. It transforms a fleeting interaction into genuine connection. And if you’re truly busy, being honest and rescheduling respectfully maintains trust.

10. Beyond the Eight Minutes: Creating a Culture of Support

Sinek’s phrase isn’t just a one-time trick—it hints at a deeper cultural shift toward transparency and support. A workplace, family, or community that values short, intentional conversations will foster stronger, more resilient relationships.

Encouraging “8-minute” exchanges could be embedded into organizational culture. Think weekly peer coaching sessions, short feedback loops, or emotional check-ins. The key isn’t the exact number of minutes—it’s the clarity and courtesy in the ask.

The long-term outcome? A network of people who feel seen, heard, and willing to contribute to one another’s well-being.

11. Final Thoughts: Small Shifts, Huge Impact

Simon Sinek’s leadership philosophy consistently revolves around understanding our “why,” building trust, and humanizing workplaces. Through his recent anecdote about Maria Shriver’s communication tactic, he illustrates yet another core principle: small shifts can lead to significant impact.

“Do you have 8 minutes?” isn’t just a polite way to ask for time—it’s a key to unlocking better leadership, more meaningful relationships, and emotionally intelligent communication.

In an age where many feel isolated despite constant connection, this simple question reminds us of something profound: when we’re vulnerable, respectful, and clear, we invite others to truly show up for us—and most of the time, they will.

So go ahead. The next time you need someone, try it out: “Do you have 8 minutes?” You might be surprised at what happens in those eight short, transformative minutes.